The Rule of “The”

Bands whose names have the word “The” in them were created by unimaginative, talentless people and almost always suck.  Some of these names are so bad that this is self-evident.

The 69 Eyes
The Alarm
The Alkaline Trio
The All-American Rejects
The Andrews Sisters
The Archers of Loaf
The Proclaimers
The Gorillaz
The Animals
The Wallflowers
The Bangles
The Cranberries (voice lilting isn’t talent, it’s annoying)
The Monkees (Created artificially by a music producer, which tells you all you need to know)
Sixpence None The Richer
Toad the Wet Sprocket
The Indigo Girls
Florence and the Machine
Hootie and the Blowfish
The Rembrandts
The Queens of the Stone Age
The White Stripes
The Andrews Sisters
The Babys
The Bacon Brothers
The Band
The Barry Sisters
The Beach Boys
The Beatles
The Beekeepers
The Beloved
The Berzerker
The Blue Hawaiians
The Blue Nile
The Bluetones
The Brand New Heavies
The Buggles
The Byrds
The Calling
The Cardigans
The Chieftains
The Church
The Clash
The Commodores
The Cooper Temple Clause
The Coral
The Corrs
The Cowntdown Singers
The Cramps
The Cross
The Cult
The Cure
The Dandy Warhols
The Darkness
The Datsuns
The Dave Matthews Band
The Delays
The Devils
The Dillinger Escape Plan
The Diodes
The Distillers
The Doors (oh yes – one of the most overrated bands of the 60’s)
The Doves
The Drifters
The Ecstasy of Saint Theresa
The Emotions
The Fabulous Thunderbirds (which turned out to be neither Fabulous nor Thunderbirdy at all)
The Faint
The Farm
The Fevers
The Flaming Lips (more reminiscent of the burn at the other end)
The Four Seasons
The Four Tops
The funky lowlives
The Gallery
The Ganja Kru
The Gathering
The Gods
The gordon highlanders
The Great Kat
The Guess Who
The Happy Family
The Haunted
The Herbaliser
The Hollies
The Housemartins (the real talent here was Fatboy Slim, who fortunately escaped to give us much better music)
The Isley Brothers
The Jacksons
The Jerusalem Xperience
The Jimi Hendrix Experience (so overrated)
The Killer Babies
The Kills
The Kinks
The Last Emperor
The Law
The Legends of World Rock
The Lettermen
The Levellers
The London Suede
The Lords
The Lords of New Church
The Lost Boyz
The Mamas and The Papas
The Matadors
The Matches
The Mccoys
The Meditations
The Merlons
The Mighty Diamonds
The Mighty Lemon Drops
The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
The Moon Lay Hidden Beneath a Cloud
Mott the Hoople
The Move
The Music
The Neptunes
The New Radicals
The Notting Hillbillies
The Osmonds
The Pan Pipers
The Pogues
The Polyphonic Spree
The Postal Service
The Pretty Things
The Psychedelic Furs
The Rapture (Doom Metal)
The Rapture [indie Rock]
The Rasmus
The Raveonettes
The Real McCoy
The Red Elvises
The RH Factor
The Roots
The Rutles
The Sabres of Paradise
The Shadows
The Shamen
The Shins
The Shirelles
The Silencers
The Simpsons
The Sins of Thy Beloved
The Skatalites
The Smithereens
The Smiths
The Sound
The Source
The Specials
The Stands
The Stills
The Stone Roses
The Stooges
The Stranglers
The Strike Boys
The Suicide Machines
The Tangent
The The
The Thrills
The Tiger Lillies
The Timewriter
The Tin Machine
The Tragically Hip
The Trammps
The Traveling Wilburys
The Tremeloes
The Turtles
The Underdog Project
The Used
The Vandals
The Vines
The Von Bondies
The Walkabouts
The Waltons
The Watchmen
The Weeknd
The Whitlams
The Who
The Wildhearts
The 5678’s
The Beau Brummels
The Brogues
The Cardigans
The Celibate Rifles
The Charlatans
The D4
The Datsuns
The Elastic Band
The Five Americans
The Fun Things
The Gants
The Gourds
The High Speed Scene
The Hitmen
The Hives
The Human Beinz
The Jeevas
The Lipstick Killers
The Litter
The Merry Go Round
The Misfits
The Neptunes
The Passengers
The Psycho Surgeons
The Roots
The Saints
The Scientists
The Seeds
The Shadows Of Knight
The Sonics
The Sparkles
The Squires
The Streets
The Strokes
The Sunnyboys
The Turtles
The Victims
The Vines
The Visitors
The Wannadies
The Rocks
The Bamblefog Collective
The Nice
The Hidden Cameras
The Mars Volta

Except The Firm, The Cars, The Police, The Crystal Method, Temple of the Dog, The Ataris, The Verve and The Killers. You guys get a pass, especially since Mr. Brightside quite literally happens to be one of, if not the, greatest pop songs of all time.